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‘New York Times’ Editor Fired

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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‘New York Times’ Editor Fired

New York Times chairman Arthur Sulzberger Jr. announced Wednesday he’s replacing Executive Editor Jill Abramson, the paper’s first female newsroom chief, in a move media insiders say may have to do with Abramson questioning her salary level as compared to her male predecessors’. What do you think?

  • “This is an inspirational story for all women who hope to one day rise to one of the most prestigious positions in their industry only to be fired from it under questionable circumstances.”

    Tim Lefebvre Highway Paver
  • “I really don’t see why we have to spoil this discussion by bringing the history of gender-discriminatory wage practices into it.”

    Caroline Murray Fan Installer
  • “After spending all that time writing stories about other people, it must be exciting for journalists to get to be the center of attention.”

    Gregory Bodt Unemployed

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