adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?
End Of Section
  • More News

New York Times Endorses Legalizing Marijuana

The New York Times editorial board published the first in a planned six-part piece on Sunday calling for the legalization of recreational marijuana, arguing that outlawing the drug is just as ineffective as the government’s failed ban on alcohol during the Prohibition era and that the majority of Americans support it. What do you think?

  • “Still, I’d rather wait for the Wall Street Journal’s editorial board to weigh in on this before I try pot.”

    George Beghe Systems Analyst
  • “They must have been so baked when they looked at the high incarceration rates for non-violent drug offenses.”

    John McNeil Skate Park Planner
  • “It seems a bit hasty to get behind something just because the rest of the country already is.”

    Christine Pankow Baggage Loader

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close