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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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New York Times Endorses Legalizing Marijuana

The New York Times editorial board published the first in a planned six-part piece on Sunday calling for the legalization of recreational marijuana, arguing that outlawing the drug is just as ineffective as the government’s failed ban on alcohol during the Prohibition era and that the majority of Americans support it. What do you think?

  • “Still, I’d rather wait for the Wall Street Journal’s editorial board to weigh in on this before I try pot.”

    George Beghe Systems Analyst
  • “They must have been so baked when they looked at the high incarceration rates for non-violent drug offenses.”

    John McNeil Skate Park Planner
  • “It seems a bit hasty to get behind something just because the rest of the country already is.”

    Christine Pankow Baggage Loader

More from this section

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.

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