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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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New York Tour Bus Dangers

After two fatal tour bus accidents occurred in a single week, authorities in New York conducted random inspections in which 14 of 14 buses stopped were taken taken off the road for safety violations. What do you think?

  • "It's a good thing they found all 14 of the bad buses."

    Evan Blackwell Cap Maker
  • "You know, it’d be a lot more useful if the state would just release a list of commercial vehicles that unlicensed felons were allowed to operate."

    Patricia Lordan Turning Machine Operator
  • "Huh. 'Buses'? That word looks funny, right? I know I'm saying this out loud, but when it's transcribed it'll probably look all weird. Then again, doesn't 'busses' look even weirder? I bet it does."

    Thomas Marcellino Malt Roaster
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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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