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Newark Mayor Rescues Neighbor From Fire

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Newark Mayor Rescues Neighbor From Fire

Newark, NJ mayor Cory Booker was treated for smoke inhalation and second-degree burns after rescuing his elderly neighbor from a burning house. What do you think?

  • "Ouch. That's not going to play well with the arsonist vote come election season."

    Gina Allen
    Systems Analyst
  • "Man, all my lame mayor does is fund a fire department so he doesn't have to get his hands dirty."

    Frank Davis
    Hand Tufter
  • "Big whoop. My mayor recycles. I've seen it."

    Steve Cassidy
    Unemployed

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