Newark Mayor Rescues Neighbor From Fire

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Newark Mayor Rescues Neighbor From Fire

Newark, NJ mayor Cory Booker was treated for smoke inhalation and second-degree burns after rescuing his elderly neighbor from a burning house. What do you think?

  • "Ouch. That's not going to play well with the arsonist vote come election season."

    Gina Allen
    Systems Analyst
  • "Man, all my lame mayor does is fund a fire department so he doesn't have to get his hands dirty."

    Frank Davis
    Hand Tufter
  • "Big whoop. My mayor recycles. I've seen it."

    Steve Cassidy