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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Newark Mayor Rescues Neighbor From Fire

Newark, NJ mayor Cory Booker was treated for smoke inhalation and second-degree burns after rescuing his elderly neighbor from a burning house. What do you think?

  • "Ouch. That's not going to play well with the arsonist vote come election season."

    Gina Allen Systems Analyst
  • "Man, all my lame mayor does is fund a fire department so he doesn't have to get his hands dirty."

    Frank Davis Hand Tufter
  • "Big whoop. My mayor recycles. I've seen it."

    Steve Cassidy Unemployed
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