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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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NFL To Atlanta: No Super Bowl If Anti-Gay Law Passed

The NFL has warned they might not allow Atlanta’s Mercedes-Benz Stadium to host any upcoming Super Bowl games if Georgia passes House Bill 757, a proposal to restrict the civil rights of LGBT citizens. What do you think?

  • “And deny football fans the splendor of a Georgia February? How dare they!”

    Belinda Caine Stoplight Polisher
  • “When the NFL is ahead of you on human rights, you’ve got bigger problems.”

    Ron Bouchard Faucet Craftsman
  • “I, for one, am proud of the league for their socially progressive threats.”

    Terrance Cleisher Grout Specialist

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