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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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NFL Players Wear Pink For Breast Cancer

During the month of October, many professional football players are wearing pink as part of their uniforms to raise awareness for breast cancer. What do you think?
  • "The campaign is really working. Me and my buddies talked about breasts all game long on Sunday."

    Dylan Camp Clay Burner
  • "That reminds me to wear pink, too, albeit for purely selfish, mercenary reasons."

    Grace Malla Malter Operator
  • "I think it also adds a certain poignancy to the center-quarterback exchange."

    Clay Clevenger Unemployed
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