Nigerian Officials Try To Block 'District 9'

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Vol 45 Issue 39

Cat Congress Mired In Sunbeam

WASHINGTON—"We've come up against an unforeseen circumstance, but we'll resume deliberation and voting as quickly as is reasonably possible," said majority leader and Budget Committee chaircat Sen. Creamsicle (D-ND), stretching out to his entire length and repeatedly kneading the chamber carpet.
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Nigerian Officials Try To Block 'District 9'

Nigerian information minister Dora Akunyili has asked movie houses to stop screening the science fiction film District 9 because of its unflattering portrayal of Nigerians. What do you think?
  • "If the Nigerians would just lose a little weight, they'd have nothing to worry about."

    Gerald Collins
    Carpet Installer
  • "I saw District 9, and it didn't change what I think about Nigerians. Which is nothing. I only think about America."

    Tiffany Fripp
    Urologist
  • "Because the Nigerian government's vast oil wealth is always generously and transparently passed down to its grateful citizens, you can see why the information minister would chafe at a film that portrays Nigerians as corrupt thugs."

    Aaron Turrington
    Fireman
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