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No iPods To Kim Jong Il

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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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No iPods To Kim Jong Il

The White House has imposed a ban on the sale of iPods to North Korea. What do you think?

  • "This won't do a damn thing. Everybody knows Zune is the preferred MP3 player of the Axis of Evil."

    Sean McGill Shoe Salesman
  • "Ouch! Right in the middle of the North Korean Christmas shopping season, too."

    Allara Jones Systems Analyst
  • "I don't know what good it will do to impose petty sanctions tailored specifically to annoy a crazy foreign leader with nuclear weapons, but what can it hurt?"

    Kai Thornton Large Truck Mechanic

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