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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Nonwhite Babies Pass White Babies In United States

For the first time in U.S. history, the number of minority babies outstripped the number of white babies. What do you think?

  • "Looks like minorities are finally catching up to whites on desperately trying to fix their relationships."

    Phil Bartram Batter Mixer
  • "I have faith that Bristol Palin will have enough children to tip the balance."

    Reid Nelson Worm Packer
  • "Technically there was one other time when white babies were outnumbered in this country, but we took care of that."

    Julie Brouwer Veneer Drier

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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