North Carolina Bans Gay Marriage

Top Headlines

Recent News

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.

Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Man Praying Interviewer Doesn’t Ask Any Questions

MINNEAPOLIS—His mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty as he arrived at the offices of Regent Advertising Partners to interview for an open account manager position, local man Devin McKee reportedly prayed Thursday that the hiring manager wouldn’t ask him any questions during their meeting.

Origins Of Popular Slang Terms

As the internet helps push new words and expressions into common usage, many may wonder where our most ubiquitous idioms come from. Here are the origins of some popular slang terms and phrases

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

North Carolina Bans Gay Marriage

By a margin of 58 to 42 percent, North Carolina voters approved an amendment to the state constitution that bans same-sex marriage. What do you think?

  • "I have a policy of not saying anything negative about the South. Otherwise my Alabama friend will hammer me with his Faulkner-Welty-O'Connor tirade again."

    Marla Wint Systems Analyst
  • "Once again, I strongly suspect the underhanded machinations of one Professor Donald Dawes, a con man who travels the country selling state legislatures on phony constitutional amendments."

    Bryan Hewlett Arrowsmith
  • "Damn right it's banned. The Wright Brothers didn't put a plane in the air to see two dudes kissing under it."

    Peter DeBoer Transfer-Car Operator


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close