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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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North Korea Conducts Nuclear Test

North Korea carried out a nuclear test Tuesday, possibly using a plutonium-based device that was smaller but more powerful than its previous bombs, drawing condemnation and vows of swift action from governments around the world. What do you think?

  • “If we’ve learned anything from dealing with dictators, it’s that nothing’s more effective than condemnation.”

    Susan Hayden Prospecting Driller
  • “I’m glad other countries are finally joining us in making vows.”

    Malcolm Merrill Caulker
  • “Anyone else torn between finding this troubling and kind of adorable?”

    Brianna Menyuk Unemployed
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