adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

North Korea Conducts Nuclear Test

North Korea carried out a nuclear test Tuesday, possibly using a plutonium-based device that was smaller but more powerful than its previous bombs, drawing condemnation and vows of swift action from governments around the world. What do you think?

  • “If we’ve learned anything from dealing with dictators, it’s that nothing’s more effective than condemnation.”

    Susan Hayden Prospecting Driller
  • “I’m glad other countries are finally joining us in making vows.”

    Malcolm Merrill Caulker
  • “Anyone else torn between finding this troubling and kind of adorable?”

    Brianna Menyuk Unemployed

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close