North Korea Keeps Nukes

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Frenzied Trump Supporters Admit They’d Be Just As Happy Tearing Him To Pieces

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WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.

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WASHINGTON—In an incredible play that drew cheers from the whole stadium, Washington Nationals left fielder Jayson Werth managed to catch a foul ball Tuesday night without spilling the beer he was holding in his other hand.
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North Korea Keeps Nukes

North Korea recently rejected a UN resolution demanding the cessation of its nuclear weapons program. What do you think?
  • "Meanwhile, Turkey gave the Czech ambassador a lovely tie. But who ever reports the positive news?"

    Justin Culver
    Chemist
  • "It's a shame. Talks had been going so well."

    Ginnie Klein
    Architectural Draftsperson
  • "Well, at least this will give Japan the opportunity to rebuild with even newer, more progressive architectural designs."

    Stephen Babcock
    Health Food Advocate