North Korea Launches Long-Range Missile

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Vol 48 Issue 50

Fuck Everything, Nation Reports

WASHINGTON—Following the fatal shooting this morning at a Connecticut elementary school that left at least 27 dead, including 20 small children, sources across the nation shook their heads, stifled a sob in their voices, and reported fuck everything...

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North Korea Launches Long-Range Missile

Though the rocket fired by North Korea this morning appears only to have placed a satellite in orbit, many experts believe the country’s primary intent was to test its ability to launch an intercontinental ballistic missile that could one day carry a nuclear warhead. What do you think?

  • “I’d be really worried if I didn’t know we have even further economic sanctions up our sleeve.”

    Livia Gimpel
    Systems Analyst
  • “As a Pyongyang resident, I am obligated to say I am engulfed with happiness and endlessly inspired.”

    Jin-ho Choi
    Tool Designer
  • “Hmm, have we considered doing nothing for 60 years and seeing where it leads us?”

    Roberto Sierra
    Lease Agent
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