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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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North Korean Propaganda Video Shows Bombed U.S. City

In a brief YouTube video posted by the North Korean government, a sleeping citizen is depicted dreaming about the country’s space technology and envisioning New York City aflame after a missile attack, all while an instrumental version of the song “We Are The World” plays in the background. What do you think?

  • “Oh my God, I had that exact same dream last night!”

    Ken Mirkovich Gate Agent
  • “Wouldn’t it be easier for North Korea to just tell its citizens that this actually happened?”

    Linda Athons Livestock Counter
  • “It’s a chilling video, but nowhere near as freaky as the ads with the Lunesta moth.”

    Samir Hamoud Acrobatic Rigger

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