North Pacific Experiences Waste Surge

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.


North Pacific Experiences Waste Surge

Researchers from the Scripps Institution of Oceanography found that plastic waste in the North Pacific has increased a hundredfold over the past 40 years. What do you think?

  • "It's a good thing I don't live in the Pacific Ocean."

    Mindy Hadley
    Systems Analyst
  • "Thanks for trying, Pacific, but to us romantics, the most mysterious and captivating region of ocean detritus will always be the Sargasso Sea."

    Nick Watson
    Table Tender
  • “Shit, my bad. I just realized I’ve been putting my recycling in the wrong bin the last 12 years.”

    Justin Floyd
    Stave Jointer