adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Northeast Braces For Historic Blizzard

Widespread power outages and travel disruptions are expected from a massive nor’easter that is projected to bring up to two feet of snow in Boston and nearly a foot of snow in New York City starting tomorrow. What do you think?

  • “As a 12-year-old, should I have lived through this many storms of the century by now?”

    Hal Von Beltz Unemployed
  • “Oh, no! I hope Aerosmith will be okay.”

    Raymond De Luna Orchard Owner
  • “No lobster roll for me tomorrow, I guess.”

    Valerie Palmisano Book Critic

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close