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Notorious R.I.P.

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Notorious R.I.P.

The Notorious B.I.G. was shot to death last week, almost six months to the day after fellow "gangsta" rapper Tupac Shakur was killed. What do you think about the escalating violence in the rap world?
  • "I believe there is a connection between this murder and last November's slaying of Whitney Houston."

    Herb Petersen Limnologist
  • "There was once a man killed for rapping the gospel. They nailed Him to a cross. His name was Jesus."

    Theresa Hull Roofer
  • "Damn... Know what I'm sayin'?"

    Chad Schorr Systems Analyst
  • "Congress has simply got to start increasing public-service announcement funding."

    Kevin Hyland Legal Secretary
  • "These rap stars have got to stop trying to emulate their fans."

    Lorraine Woolhouse Science Teacher
  • "It's the same as all those East Coast-West Coast killings back in the big band days. Artie Shaw. Tommy Dorsey. And they still don't know what happened to Benny Goodman."

    Patrick Prozinski Nutritionist

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