NPR Fires Commentator For Comments On Fox

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Vol 46 Issue 43

Desperate NFL Needs Big Win To Turn Season Around

NEW YORK—After eight weeks of play with no teams emerging as clear front-runners, the National Football League desperately needs at least one spectacular win to salvage its lackluster season, sources confirmed Monday.

Townsfolk Strongly Prefer Man's Werewolf Incarnation

BLACK FOREST, GERMANY—Townsfolk told reporters Tuesday that they can't wait for the next full moon, as they much prefer the bloodthirsty lycanthropic form of "insufferable" local blacksmith Hans Meyer, who was bitten by a werewolf eight mo...
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Kids Love When Mom Sad Enough To Just Order Pizza

FORT WORTH, TX—Saying they get their hopes up anytime they notice her looking particularly downhearted, siblings Paulo and Marisa Hernandez told reporters Wednesday they love it when their mother is sad enough to just order pizza.

NPR Fires Commentator For Comments On Fox

National Public Radio fired commentator Juan Williams on Wednesday following an appearance on the Fox News program The O'Reilly Factor in which he said that seeing people in Muslim garb on airplanes made him uncomfortable. What do you think?

  • "Who can blame him? They always take up all the flight attendants' time asking for halal meals."

    Jason Connor
    Systems Analyst
  • "Well, if Juan Williams said something offensive enough to get shit-canned from National Public Radio, it sounds like he aced the audition for The Juan Williams Hour on Fox News."

    Iris Cronin
    Obstetrician
  • "This is particularly egregious in light of how leniently they treated Carl Kasell after a live mic caught him calling Terry Gross a cunt."

    Philip Gibbon
    Driving Instructor
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