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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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NPR Fires Commentator For Comments On Fox

National Public Radio fired commentator Juan Williams on Wednesday following an appearance on the Fox News program The O'Reilly Factor in which he said that seeing people in Muslim garb on airplanes made him uncomfortable. What do you think?

  • "Who can blame him? They always take up all the flight attendants' time asking for halal meals."

    Jason Connor Systems Analyst
  • "Well, if Juan Williams said something offensive enough to get shit-canned from National Public Radio, it sounds like he aced the audition for The Juan Williams Hour on Fox News."

    Iris Cronin Obstetrician
  • "This is particularly egregious in light of how leniently they treated Carl Kasell after a live mic caught him calling Terry Gross a cunt."

    Philip Gibbon Driving Instructor

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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