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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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NRA Removes ‘Guns For The Blind’ Video

After receiving widespread backlash, the NRA has pulled an installment of its NRA News segment in which a U.S. Navy Seal argues that blind people should be allowed to carry guns just like everyone else, asking, “Do you think you need to see where you’re shooting if someone is on top of you, trying to kill or rape you?” What do you think?

  • “If the NRA wasn’t known for its tireless work with the blind, this might make it seem like they were trying to exploit them.”

    Marshall Gradwell Systems Analyst
  • “This is just like the NRA, backing down at the slightest hint of controversy.”

    Beth Spriggs Content Aggregator
  • “Great. Now a bunch of blind people are going to get assaulted.”

    Michael Sanders Sandpaper Maker

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