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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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NRA Removes ‘Guns For The Blind’ Video

After receiving widespread backlash, the NRA has pulled an installment of its NRA News segment in which a U.S. Navy Seal argues that blind people should be allowed to carry guns just like everyone else, asking, “Do you think you need to see where you’re shooting if someone is on top of you, trying to kill or rape you?” What do you think?

  • “If the NRA wasn’t known for its tireless work with the blind, this might make it seem like they were trying to exploit them.”

    Marshall Gradwell Systems Analyst
  • “This is just like the NRA, backing down at the slightest hint of controversy.”

    Beth Spriggs Content Aggregator
  • “Great. Now a bunch of blind people are going to get assaulted.”

    Michael Sanders Sandpaper Maker

More from this section

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.

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