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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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NSA Whistleblower Flees To Hong Kong

Edward Snowden, a 29-year-old contractor working for the National Security Agency, has taken credit for leaking top-secret documents to the press regarding the NSA’s phone and internet surveillance, and has fled to Hong Kong to avoid prosecution. What do you think?

  • “Any excuse to visit The Jewel of the East.”

    Dale Hartman Appliance Refinisher
  • “He’s still in his 20s. You always want to get that leaking-highly-classified-intelligence-data stuff out of your system in your 20s.”

    Jeffrey Greist Genealogist
  • “The NSA probably would have fired him anyway.”

    Janice Leopardi Systems Analyst

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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