Nuclear Plants Left Vulnerable

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.


Nuclear Plants Left Vulnerable

Federal regulators rejected nuclear policy group requests to increase security at California nuclear power plants, protecting them from aerial attack. What do you think?
  • "Good. All this country needs is more big government sticking its nose into the private business of nuclear power."

    Oren Musburger
    Stereo Salesman
  • "Quite a shrewd political move. With California and its 55 electoral votes wiped off the map, the Democrats don't stand a chance in '08."

    Sean Friel
    Paper Maker
  • "Why would the terrorists go through the trouble of an aerial attack when it's so easy to drive right up to the plant and attack from the ground?"

    Katie Pompillio
    Shoe Repairer