adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
End Of Section
  • More News

NYC Hopes To Ban Oversized Sodas

New York mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that he would seek to ban the sale of any soda or other sugary beverage larger than 16 ounces. What do you think?

  • “This is going to be a huge blow to businesses that charge people a quarter to use their toilets.”

    Lois Taylor Systems Analyst
  • “I'm a New York resident who often does not finish the last one-fourth of his can of soda. Can I qualify for a tax credit?”

    Kent Harris Rock-Drill Operator
  • “So instead of getting a 24-ounce soda, I now have to pay more and get two 16-ounce sodas? How much Coca-Cola stock does Bloomberg own?”

    Dane Metzler Jacquard-Loom Fixer

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close