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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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NYC Hopes To Ban Oversized Sodas

New York mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that he would seek to ban the sale of any soda or other sugary beverage larger than 16 ounces. What do you think?

  • “This is going to be a huge blow to businesses that charge people a quarter to use their toilets.”

    Lois Taylor Systems Analyst
  • “I'm a New York resident who often does not finish the last one-fourth of his can of soda. Can I qualify for a tax credit?”

    Kent Harris Rock-Drill Operator
  • “So instead of getting a 24-ounce soda, I now have to pay more and get two 16-ounce sodas? How much Coca-Cola stock does Bloomberg own?”

    Dane Metzler Jacquard-Loom Fixer

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