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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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NYC Restaurant Has Diners Eat In Silence

The Brooklyn restaurant Eat, which serves local farm-to-table fare, has gained popularity with its $40 four-course prix fixe menu nights in which the patrons, waiters, and chefs are not allowed to speak at all. What do you think?

  • “But my wife has all these great stories about how her coworker Cheryl screwed her over!”

    Adam Penotti Dry Cleaner
  • “The only reason I even go out to restaurants is for the chance to get to know a new waiter.”

    Steve Timoney Auction Assistant
  • “My eyes say it all anyway.”

    Rita King Electron Tube Assembler

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