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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Obama Consults CEOs About Modernizing Government

President Obama met with CEOs from 50 companies, including UPS and Microsoft, to consult with them about how to streamline government and improve services. What do you think?
  • "The head of UPS? What an honor!"

    Paul Digga Systems Analyst
  • "Is one of the things they came up with to stop having meetings with 50 people at a time?"

    Sandy Grice Unemployed
  • "A lot of big shots will be there—it probably wouldn't be a bad idea for Obama to pass out a few copies of his resumé."

    Jay Smith Management Aide

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