adBlockCheck

Politics

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Obama Decries Wall Street Bonuses

Last week, Barack Obama called Wall Street executives who awarded themselves $18.4 billion at the end of 2008 as "shameful." What do you think?
  • "He was being presidential but I would have been fine with him calling them fucking assholes."

    Jerrod Kissin Systems Analyst
  • "Damn right it's shameful! These guys should hire some people to hang their heads in an act of contrition."

    Gina Ahlquist Production Planner
  • "Unfortunately, as a corporate executive, I don't possess the emotional faculties required to empathize with other humans or to register this feeling you know as 'shame.'"

    Jeffrey Brooks CEO

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close