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Obama Delivers State Of The Union

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Obama Delivers State Of The Union

President Barack Obama delivered his annual State of the Union address last night, his first since being reelected. What did you think of the speech?

  • “As a hardworking American, I was disappointed that at no point did he mention me.”

    Leslie Rose Wine Pasteurizer
  • “All we can expect from this washed-up president is four more years of promises he tries his best to keep and occasionally succeeds at.”

    Stephen Krakoff Systems Analyst
  • “I missed it. How are we doing?”

    J.D. Hess Irrigation Engineer

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