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Politics

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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Obama Gives State Of The Union

After a full year in office, President Barack Obama delivered his first State of the Union address. What do you think?
  • "With all his talk about putting people back to work, I really wish the president had announced an initiative to prevent layoffs at local Pizza Huts."

    Cathy Morris Unemployed
  • "I'm not really sure how good the speech was. Unlike other presidents, Obama said that the state of our union was strong right at the beginning, so I felt relieved and turned the TV off."

    Chris Hook Administrative Assistant
  • "I listened closely, but I'm still not sure if my dream of opening a small insurance company is good or bad for America."

    Luke Sumner Insurance Agent

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