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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Obama Losing Global Appeal

A Pew Research Center poll indicates that President Barack Obama’s popularity is slipping around the globe, due in part to disapproval of drone airstrikes. What do you think?

  • “He better watch out, or the rest of the world might decide to vote for Romney in November.”\

    Jane Carroll Systems Analyst
  • “Look, we can send in flying deathbots to do the dirty work, or we can invade your country and level it. You choose, but we gotta do something.”

    Nick Joseph Inside-Plant Supervisor
  • “Hold up. I’m not going to stand here while some filthy foreigner talks smack about the president I hate.”

    Ed Wilmot Nickel Plater
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