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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Obama Losing Global Appeal

A Pew Research Center poll indicates that President Barack Obama’s popularity is slipping around the globe, due in part to disapproval of drone airstrikes. What do you think?

  • “He better watch out, or the rest of the world might decide to vote for Romney in November.”\

    Jane Carroll Systems Analyst
  • “Look, we can send in flying deathbots to do the dirty work, or we can invade your country and level it. You choose, but we gotta do something.”

    Nick Joseph Inside-Plant Supervisor
  • “Hold up. I’m not going to stand here while some filthy foreigner talks smack about the president I hate.”

    Ed Wilmot Nickel Plater
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