Obama Overturns Bush Stem Cell Policy

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Vol 45 Issue 11

Area Man Down To Final Week Of Heyday

CHICAGO—"I'm having a blast," said Brian Konig, unaware that work-related stress and financial responsibility will soon put a tragic end to his personal apex.

Christian Salt Introduced

After reportedly tiring of hearing chefs on television recommend kosher salt, a retired barber has introduced Blessed Christians Salt, which is sea salt blessed by an Episcopal priest. What to you think?
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  • Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

    ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Obama Overturns Bush Stem Cell Policy

President Obama has lifted restrictions that prevented federal funding of labs using embryonic stem cells for research. What do you think?
  • “I expected a higher moral standard from Obama, but it looks like he’s just another pawn of the severed-spinal-cord lobby.”

    Mindy Kane
    Systems Analyst
  • "I believe that embryos are humans, but fortunately I can't bring myself to care about people I don't know."

    Kyle McConnell
    Veterinary Assistant
  • "Yeah, I get it. Obama's the 'cool' president."

    Miles Proctor
    Consultant
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