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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Obama Pushing Broad Gun Control Measures

President Obama vowed yesterday to introduce legislation that would require background checks for all gun buyers, ban assault weapons, and limit magazines to 10 rounds, marking the most wide-reaching push for gun control in a generation. What do you think?

  • “That’s great! But there should still be a loophole so I can get whatever I want.”

    Chuck Graham Dross Skimmer
  • “I’m sorry, but Obama’s decision to revive an assault weapons ban that already existed is far too radical.”

    Domingo Repola Unemployed
  • “But I can still shoot 10 things without reloading, right?”

    Colette DeTitta Washing Machine Loader
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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

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