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Obama Pushing Broad Gun Control Measures

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Obama Pushing Broad Gun Control Measures

President Obama vowed yesterday to introduce legislation that would require background checks for all gun buyers, ban assault weapons, and limit magazines to 10 rounds, marking the most wide-reaching push for gun control in a generation. What do you think?

  • “That’s great! But there should still be a loophole so I can get whatever I want.”

    Chuck Graham Dross Skimmer
  • “I’m sorry, but Obama’s decision to revive an assault weapons ban that already existed is far too radical.”

    Domingo Repola Unemployed
  • “But I can still shoot 10 things without reloading, right?”

    Colette DeTitta Washing Machine Loader

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