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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Obama Pushing Broad Gun Control Measures

President Obama vowed yesterday to introduce legislation that would require background checks for all gun buyers, ban assault weapons, and limit magazines to 10 rounds, marking the most wide-reaching push for gun control in a generation. What do you think?

  • “That’s great! But there should still be a loophole so I can get whatever I want.”

    Chuck Graham Dross Skimmer
  • “I’m sorry, but Obama’s decision to revive an assault weapons ban that already existed is far too radical.”

    Domingo Repola Unemployed
  • “But I can still shoot 10 things without reloading, right?”

    Colette DeTitta Washing Machine Loader

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