Obama Reelected President

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Vol 48 Issue 45

Anorexic Woman At Gym Looking Good

CHICAGO—Citing her shapeless physique, protruding skeleton, and jaundiced complexion, gym members exercising at a local Equinox Fitness Club on Friday confirmed that the anorexic woman working out on the first floor is looking good. “Oh, man, ...
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Obama Reelected President

President Barack Obama was reelected Tuesday, defeating Republican challenger Mitt Romney in a closely contested race. What do you think?

  • “Obama won? What was the point of all those voter ID laws, then?”

    Murphy Chang
    Lens Assorter
  • “Looks like Uncle Sam’s picking up the tab on my abortion after all!”

    Faith Fidler
    Carpenter Apprentice
  • “I can’t believe I have to spend another four years looking at Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood’s face.”

    Brendan Bowie
    Wire Editor
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