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Obama Reelected President

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Obama Reelected President

President Barack Obama was reelected Tuesday, defeating Republican challenger Mitt Romney in a closely contested race. What do you think?

  • “Obama won? What was the point of all those voter ID laws, then?”

    Murphy Chang
    Lens Assorter
  • “Looks like Uncle Sam’s picking up the tab on my abortion after all!”

    Faith Fidler
    Carpenter Apprentice
  • “I can’t believe I have to spend another four years looking at Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood’s face.”

    Brendan Bowie
    Wire Editor

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