adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Obama Renews Calls To Close Guantánamo

President Barack Obama renewed his 2008 campaign promise to close the detention facility at Guantánamo Bay, where roughly 100 detainees are currently on a hunger strike that has required many of them to be force-fed by special medical personnel. What do you think?

  • “Plenty more undisclosed offshore prisons where that came from.”

    Angela Dowers Systems Analyst
  • “Yeah, Obama’s a big one for renewing calls.”

    Kendrick Beugg Package Designer
  • “Man, I wish someone would force-feed me.”

    Gary Wallin Produce Washer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close