Obama Signs Bill Banning Congressional Insider Trading

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 14

Coast Guard Sinks Vacant Ship

The U.S. Coast Guard used cannon fire to sink the 164-foot Ryou-Un Maru, a Japanese "ghost ship" set adrift by the tsunami last year.

Cambodian Antiquity To Be Seized

FBI agents moved to impound a statue from the auction house Sotheby's after Cambodian officials claimed it was looted from an ancient Khmer temple.

Phil Grayson

Phil Grayson celebrated 15 years of manning the old glory hole in the South Royalton Rest Area men’s room.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Energy

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Obama Signs Bill Banning Congressional Insider Trading

Following a prayer breakfast this morning, President Obama signed into law a bill prohibiting members of Congress and other federal employees from insider trading. What do you think?

  • "But insiders have the best information."

    Shirley McElwy
    Home Health Aid
  • "While we're banning things that are already a crime for everyone else, could the president sign an executive order preventing congressmen from poaching alligators?"

    Clive Gibbons
    Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, great. Now I’ll probably have to compete with Sen. Lieberman on my can-scavenging route. That guy’s ruthless.”

    Matthew Johnson
    Copywriter
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More