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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Obama Signs Bill Banning Congressional Insider Trading

Following a prayer breakfast this morning, President Obama signed into law a bill prohibiting members of Congress and other federal employees from insider trading. What do you think?

  • "But insiders have the best information."

    Shirley McElwy Home Health Aid
  • "While we're banning things that are already a crime for everyone else, could the president sign an executive order preventing congressmen from poaching alligators?"

    Clive Gibbons Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, great. Now I’ll probably have to compete with Sen. Lieberman on my can-scavenging route. That guy’s ruthless.”

    Matthew Johnson Copywriter

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