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Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Obama Skipping Memorial Day Ceremony

President Obama has angered critics with his decision to vacation in Chicago over Memorial Day and let the vice president lay the traditional wreath at Arlington National Cemetery. What do you think?

  • "No doubt to get together with his Acorn pals and register dead Illinois veterans in case the Democrats need some extra votes come November.”

    Colin Thomas Systems Analyst
  • "Seriously? Is the Arlington National Cemetery ceremony really so complicated that they can't just move it to wherever Obama is gonna be? Let's remember who's in charge here."

    Nadia Whitman Opaquer
  • "I can't say I'm not disappointed, but at least there's a good chance Biden will treat us to a solemn, dirty limerick."

    Charles Jones Jammer Operator

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