adBlockCheck

Obama To Close Guantanamo

Top Headlines

Politics

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Obama To Close Guantanamo

President-elect Barack Obama is planning to issue an executive order to close the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay on his first day in office. What do you think?
  • "I thought he would spend his first day in the White House running around the place like John Goodman in King Ralph."

    Chris Holcomb Systems Analyst
  • "Is that really what he should be worrying about on his first day in a new house? Shouldn't he be looking over carpet swatches, or something?"

    Pam Cannuccairi Budget Assistant
  • "This move appears to be a dramatic break that contradicts and even invalidates much of the previous administration’s foreign policy agenda."

    Wesley Illades Operations Shift Supervisor

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close