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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Obama To Return 5% Of Salary To Government

Showing his solidarity with federal employees who have been furloughed due to sequestration budget cuts, President Barack Obama decided to return 5 percent of his $400,000 annual salary to the Treasury. What do you think?

  • “Typical Obama. Doing something that I’m going to have a problem with no matter what it is.”

    Mark Studenny Occupational Therapist
  • “As if the Treasury could use any more money.”

    Dean Sorvino Feed Weigher
  • “Those poor Obama girls, having to go to Sidwell Friends School barefoot.”

    Joy Zimmitti Cadmium Burner

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