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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Obama Tough On Iran At U.N.

Taking a break from the campaign trail, President Barack Obama delivered an address to the United Nations General Assembly this morning in which he stated that time was running out to curb Iran’s nuclear program through diplomacy. What do you think?

  • “Sometimes I wish Iran would just get nukes so we could talk about something else.”

    Vicki Scollard Upholstery Bundler
  • “We should just teach Iran to make nuclear weapons, but teach them wrong so when they launch one, it’s just a giant stink bomb.”

    Lee Capizzi Unemployed
  • “Actually, it doesn’t sound like he took a break from campaigning at all.”

    Nathan Negrete Celluloid Trimmer
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