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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Obamas Get New Dog Named Sunny

Saying that their dog Bo could use more canine interaction, the Obamas welcomed a second dog to their family Monday, a 14-month-old female Portuguese Water Dog named Sunny for her cheery disposition. What do you think?

  • “Obama needs all the unconditional love he can get right now.”

    George Lange Unemployed
  • “If this is all an elaborate setup so they can say ‘Sunny, Bo, no!’ when the dogs misbehave, then well done, Obamas.”

    Elsie De Banzie Malted Milk Mixer
  • “Okay, but where does it stop? Three dogs? Four dogs? I would be fine with up to seven dogs.”

    Don Borsos Heating Element Repairer

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