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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Obamas Get New Dog Named Sunny

Saying that their dog Bo could use more canine interaction, the Obamas welcomed a second dog to their family Monday, a 14-month-old female Portuguese Water Dog named Sunny for her cheery disposition. What do you think?

  • “Obama needs all the unconditional love he can get right now.”

    George Lange Unemployed
  • “If this is all an elaborate setup so they can say ‘Sunny, Bo, no!’ when the dogs misbehave, then well done, Obamas.”

    Elsie De Banzie Malted Milk Mixer
  • “Okay, but where does it stop? Three dogs? Four dogs? I would be fine with up to seven dogs.”

    Don Borsos Heating Element Repairer
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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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