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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Obama's Second Term Mired In Scandal

President Obama’s second term is off to a rocky start, with the acting IRS chief stepping down, the Justice Department seizing journalists’ phone records, and Republicans continuing to allege a high-level cover-up of the Benghazi attack last September. What do you think?

  • “Plus there was that whole thing with Michelle getting bangs.”

    Jack Doubleday Orchard Pruner
  • “Hey, have you thought about adding ‘-gate’ to the end of all those?”

    Felicity Griffiths Systems Analyst
  • “Oops! You forgot to mention the authorization of drone attacks that kill hundreds of innocent people.”

    Ian Edwards Cheese Production Supervisor
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