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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Obese Engage In Unsafe Sex More

A French study revealed that obese people have sex less often than those of healthier weight, but engage in riskier behavior when they do. What do you think?

  • "I bet things get even more unsafe if the chunky lovebirds go at it on the kitchen table, or anywhere that isn't a sturdy bed or the floor."

    Iris Dunnaway Systems Analyst
  • "If they're that obese, surely there's a Snickers wrapper or empty Cheetos bag they could grab and wrap around their junk."

    Adam Smith Electrician
  • "There are risky sex moves?"

    Cody Hunter Veterinary Pathologist
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