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Obese Filmmaker Booted From Flight

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Obese Filmmaker Booted From Flight

Kevin Smith, director of such films as Clerks and Clerks II was ejected from a Southwest Airlines flight this weekend because of pilot concerns over his weight. What do you think?
  • "I feel sorry for all the passengers who missed out on a 40-minute monologue exploring Star Wars and oral sex."

    Johan Malinder Liaison Officer
  • "What does it say about your directorial career that your tweets are far more compelling, suspenseful, and emotionally honest than your recent movies?"

    Karen Kirk Aircraft Appraiser
  • "Hugely obese and flying Southwest? Yikes, sounds like Kevin Smith's career is exactly where it should be."

    Thad Watson Unemployed

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