Obesity On The Rise

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Obesity On The Rise

The National Center for Health Statistics recently announced that 64.5 percent of American adults are overweight or obese. What do you think?
  • "It's a sin to waste food, and America just happens to have 16 boxes of almost-expired Ding Dongs for every man, woman, and child."

    Norine <br>Barrodale
    Loan Clerk
  • "If they knew the pain and humiliation of being obese, scientists wouldn't do these studies."

    Joseph Ortiz
    Machine <br>Operator
  • "For your information, there are those who appreciate the curvy hips and ample breasts of a full-figured man, thank you very much."

    Don Watson
    Paperhanger
  • "And with the insidious new alliance between Donald Trump and Grimace, it's only going to get worse."

    Dennis <br>Moreland
    Systems <br>Analyst
  • "This study buys into fascist media images about what is and isn't a leading cause of heart disease."

    Eve Huffman
    Optometrist
  • "The Clean Plate Club is big--bigger than anyone realizes. Look for a man named 'Boy-Ar-Dee.' There's your story."

    Dana Harrison
    Radiation <br>Therapist
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