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Red Roof Inn Announces New Suicidal Suite

In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Obscenity Trial Halted Over Judge's Website

A Los Angeles pornography trial was suspended when it came to light that the judge had bestiality-tinged photos on his personal website. What do you think?
  • "Well, good luck finding a judge that doesn't run a bestiality site."

    Katla Braidwood Financial Adviser
  • "Why do I always get stuck doing jury duty for the boring municipal traffic-ticket trials?"

    Martin Heglund Pool Cleaner
  • "That's nothing. Have you ever seen the stuff on Justice Scalia's website?"

    Jon Harwood Systems Analyst
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