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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Occupy Calls For General Strike

The Occupy movement has declared May 1 to be a day of national protest and has asked people not to go to work, conduct banking, or go shopping. What do you think?

  • "It’s not a good day for me because I have three meetings, but tell you what, I'll wear my Guy Fawkes mask."

    Gareth Carson Human Factors Specialist
  • "I had no plans to bank today, but I am a banker. While I will be attending work, I'll mostly be practicing my putting on my office's floor. So basically I'm good here."

    Stephanie Bauchau Bank Manager
  • "Obviously there’s no place in this movement for those of us who only feel alive when filling out deposit slips."

    Dallas Elkins Unemployed
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