Octuplets Doing Well

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Vol 45 Issue 05

Area Man Already Tired Of Prison

SHERIDAN, OR—"Honestly, what am I supposed to do now?" First-time inmate Martin Hayes asked. "Sit-Ups? Did some already. And I finished the book I brought with me."
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Octuplets Doing Well

The second set of octuplets born in the United States is doing well, with all reportedly breathing on their own. What do you think?
  • "Uh oh. Eight Aquariuses living under the same roof for the next 18 years—yikes."

    Gina Lobell
    Systems Analyst
  • "So does that mean that one is gay, three are below the poverty line, three have a bachelor's or associate's degree, and two are divorced?"

    Brent Kubesch
    Demand Planner
  • "Aw, isn't that just precious! Aw, isn't that just precious! Aw, isn't that just precious! Aw, isn't that just precious! Aw, isn't that just precious! Aw, isn't that just precious! Aw, isn't that just precious! Aw, isn't that just precious!"

    Michael Carpenter
    Manager of Assembly Operations
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