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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Ohio Candidate Calls It Quits

Congressman Bob Ney, who is under investigation for his dealings with lobbyist Jack Abramoff, has abandoned his campaign for reelection. What do you think?
  • "The Bob Ney I know is a man of integrity. The Bob Ney I know is a man of honor. The Bob Ney I know is a doctor in Sarasota, Florida."

    Vicki Shields Union Organizer
  • "Ney is only backing out because he wants to spend more time with his family—all of whom he bills at $700 an hour."

    Bob Partenheimer Meat Cutter
  • "Can you blame him? Being a congressman isn't nearly as lucrative since this whole corruption crackdown."

    Andy Bernstein Systems Analyst

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