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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Ohio Legalized Casinos

Voters in Ohio approved a plan to open casinos in the state's four largest cities. What do you think?
  • "This could really put Cincinnati on the map."

    Dianne Lovecraft Systems Analyst
  • "It sure would be nice to see Cleveland blossom into a modern-day Atlantic City."

    Richard Bloch Naphtha-Plant Treater
  • "I cannot abide it. It will bring vice to Columbus!"

    Noel Derelith Office Auditor

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