adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Ohio May Need Recount

Polls in Ohio have shown a tight race for its crucial 18 electoral votes, leading many pundits to predict a statewide recount that could delay official tallies—and a clear victory in the presidential contest—until December. What do you think?

  • “I doubt that will happen. When has Ohio ever let us down?”

    Victor Samuel Haberdasher
  • “How could anyone focus on recounting all those ballots when the Bicycle Museum of America is right there?!”

    Lou Tudhope Scrap-Tire Shearer
  • “It’s a Christmas miracle!"

    Gracie Szkoda Unemployed

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close