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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Ohio Walmart Holds Food Drive For Own Workers

A Walmart location in Canton, OH has placed a number of large bins in one of the back rooms of its store to collect donations for company employees who are having difficulty putting enough food on the table during the holidays. What do you think?

  • “That hopping smiley face should be ashamed of itself.”

    Saundra LaBelle Fertilizer Mixer
  • “It was nice of the company to provide the empty bins.”

    Tommy Tsang Scholarship Counselor
  • “Well, it’s settled! I’m working for Walmart!”

    Maxwell Leonard Snack Stand Attendant

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