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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Oil Slick May Hit Coast This Weekend

Following the explosion of a BP offshore drilling rig, 45,000 gallons of oil are pumping into the Gulf of Mexico each day, and the slick may hit the U.S. coast this weekend. What do you think?

  • "I'm so jealous of that vast, fertile ecosystem of underwater marine life getting all that free oil."

    Brendan Glass Business Objects Consultant
  • "This is God's punishment for our new law allowing homosexuals to crash oil tankers."

    Sean Romano Machinist
  • "Why do oil rigs go so far into the ocean to drill, anyway? Wouldn't it be easier just to drill at the gas stations?"

    Tara Abshire Performance Engineer
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